In other news,

Underpants Awareness Week has officially commenced.

My period is anywhere from two to five days late which, what else could it be besides menopause? Which it CAN'T be because blood tests CONFIRMED I ovulated, and LH levels taken at the time suggest it all happened anywhere from sixteen to nineteen days ago.

Oh. My god.

clavicular damage

Daniel was knocked to the ground yesterday when he was run over by or ran into the path of a tricycle at daycare, proving that he is indeed a male of the species, and that he does in fact have the requisite tunnel vision that proves his testicles aren't just for show ie he really IS a male of the species.

So I ditched work and took him to the doctor at around 4.30 yesterday, and he poked and prodded and reckoned that, at most, his whatsamacallit on the end of his shoulder bit might be a little bruised. My brain was all BUT WHERE'S THE BRUISE? so the doctor gave me a request form to shut my brain up, but told it to wait until morning to do anything rash like having my son's pain adequately assessed. Which was his super nifty clever trick to shut me up because the kid would be FINE by then, the end.

But he wasn't, so I a) cursed the doctor, b) kicked myself for LISTENING to that bozo, c) took deebs off for an x ray anon, and shortly thereafter, said hello to Baby's First Fracture, and d) repeated points a) and b) prn.

Daniel's doing really well though. If you ask him, he'll say that yes, it hurts, but only if you ask him, and you'd never know unless you did, so I've been keeping up the six hourly iboprofen to help him with that. He looks all pathetic with his collar and cuff sling on, which would drive me NUTS, but he's even coping with THAT really well too. I had thought we'd need to swap the sling for duct tape if we wanted to keep his arm immobilised for the next four to six weeks, but he's a smart kid. He worked out pretty quick smart that his shoulder hurts less with his wrist held up, so hasn't fought it and listens when you remind him to leave it on mate, it feels better if you do.

And he does.

my little (fractured) champion

this one

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Aside.

Last month, my LH surge came fourteen days before my period did.

This month, my LH surge was sixteen days ago and so far, no period.

(Ta Da with Flourish goes here)

you can throw your alarm clock across the room but, etc

Daniel spent from Still Dark O Clock onwards kicking me in the neck, punching me in the kidneys, whining about wanting ice cream (which, seriously, wtf? He likes ice cream, but not THAT much), closing in on the 50mm of bed space he'd allowed me and pushing me closer to the edge (literally AND figuratively) and generally being a HUGE pain in the sleep deprived ass.

MY time from Still Dark O Clock onwards was spent escalating from patting him gently and softly saying things like "Shhh, there there etc. Go to sleep, darling sweet child of mine, it's not morning yet bla puppies, kittens, etc", to shoving him off me and onto a more respectable side of the bed, and hissing "Shut UP you little rodent for GOD'S sake, it's the middle of the frikkin' night GO TO SLEEP!"*.

Repeat.

Eventually I beat him into submission smothered him with a pillow hogtied him and crammed a sock in his noisehole got to sleep again, but only after AT LEAST an hour of this crap, and only because the little shit had exhausted a) himself and b) all available avenues of annoying.

Snore.

THen the home phone rang at Almost But Not Quite Light O Clock and Daniel was all "IT'S YOUR PHONE IT'S YOUR PHONE IT'S YOUR PHONE" and I was all peeling myself off the ceiling

and that's how my day started.

Joyously.

How about yours?





*OHNOTREALLYGEEZ

quickie

Progesterone was 73 whatevers this month, which is good and still has my hopes, if not up, then at least, prepped, even if the entire year's worth of ridiculous high levels have resulted in a repeat order on feminine hygeine products (and remind me to tell you about THAT).

Anyway, I saw my specialist before this last cycle commenced - because NO SHIT I've done it all again - so FINALLY someone looked at the aggregate of the last few months' hormone levels and TOLD me so that finally *I* got to look at the BIG picture and not just the day 21 view of things.

My oestrogen has been crazy high too, which explains (in part, at least) why I've periodically felt like I'm losing my freakin' mind, and also suggests I've been ovulating at least two eggs each cycle.

THIS MONTH, it LOOKS like my oestrgen chilled the fuck out. Or it WOULD look like it if whoever took my bloods on the day that MATTERED, ordered an oestregon level as well. Which she did not. We've got the day BEFORE to compare with though, and THAT day IS lower than the same day god even I know I'm not making any sense.

POINT BEING. Possibly (much) lower oestrogen this month, same cuh-razy high progesterone = one egg released which, if things are going down the same way as the previous months, SHOULD mean a comparatively lower progesterone. Which it is not so, possible Yay! moment, right there.

Fingers crossed.

consider this a PSA.

I got this in an email today. Or yesterday or something.

Until Thursday, and maybe probably pretty much only in Australia, the first fifty prints you order are only one cent (ONE. CENT. FFS!) each at Snapfish with the coupon code 1CENTLATAU9.

They'd probably also dig a little punctuation but y'all, seriously. ONE CENT PRINTS. Ergo, my ability to punctuate has been fried by the excitement.

cheat post

1. I've (FINALLY) uploaded a cajillion photos to Flickr.

2. I'm not pregnant.

same shit, different month

So yes, what we thought were day 21 bloods came back at 91 bla bla whatevers for progesterone last week, except I started spotting not even five days later, which progressed to more spotting on Sunday, which progressed to less spotting today which is wildly exciting news that suggests my bloods couldn't have been day 21's, more like day 23's.

Lesson time: Day 21 is when your progesterone is highest, then it rapidly falls into obscurity, your endometrium sheds, periods are endured, and so on and so forth.

Point of which is, if my day 23 was still a whopping 91, my day 21 must have been in Whoa, Dude, territory.

the internet: wow, this is why we read your blog. It's educational and interesting. Also, it helps me sleep.

ANYWAY

I called the unit this morning to cancel my beta for tomorrow morning, but Sue checked the dates for my LH surge and then she looked at the results for my progesterone level last week, carried the four, divided by nine, and came up with "hmm".

Crickets chirped, cogs turned.

And then she said "We can't rule out pregnancy", which is when I commenced banging my head against the wall because, god, seriously?

So, let's at least get some fun out of this repeat of the entire year's worth of periods, shall we?

Pregnant, or not? and give reasons, okay? Even if they're "Not, because you're OLD. GIVE UP, freak".

Except somehow I suspect a comment like that would read "because your old".

ANYWAY

Keep in mind that I'm not going to a) hate your ass if you're mean to me because, yay, you READ my blog?! I fuckin' LOVE you, man, and b) go over all "but you SAID I was and I'm NOT and it's all YOUR fault for getting my hopes up, HATE, etc" if/when/whatever the results come back in as expected ie NOT, because I'm Don Quixote that way, and anyway, you READ my blog. I LOVE you, man. Yeah.


:::::

In other (thrilling) news, I'm listening to iTunes as we speak, and my fucking speakers just blew out their bass.

Right then, as a kind of blogpostfinaleantifinale.

(could be a sign, etc etc bla yadda)

Hey, you know what sounds like shit without bass? EVERYTHING.


Next up, a DONATE button in my sidebar.