Wednesday, July 30, 2008

oh yeah,


Nothing more surprising than being scanned by a guy I studied with (aibee factoid: I was a second year radiography intern by my early twenties. I was good at it too, and on one rotation manned an exam room SOLO for, like, three months and impressed the resident Radiologist there on more than several occasions with my awesome - and on full manual override - films. Then I got sick and the rest is a long, sad, sorry and kind of hungry history. BUT ANYWAY), and even that wasn't very surprising because MyTown is a virtual SmallTown.

The abdominal scan revealed two follicles measuring at five weeks each (aibee's brain: maybe I AM only five weeks pregnant?) with nothing visible inside. (aibee's brain: what IS there to see at five weeks pregnant? Which I obviously AM. I'll tell you. Nothing. OBVIOUSLY). To confirm this, he suggested a vaginal ultrasound (him: I do a thousand of these a day. me: uh, but I know you. him: THANK GOD. Tracy?) and that showed more of the same, ie nothing.

So when I got home, I called the reproductive unit to discuss coming in for ANOTHER scan (which aibee's brain is certain WILL confirm a viable five and a half week pregnancy) with them before scheduling a D&C for Friday morning (which aibee's brain is sure will be cancelled)

answered the phone, which was cool because I really don't give a shit, and this is WORD FOR WORD the ensuing conversation:

"Hi Karen, it's Anna Bee here", and so, CLEARLY stating who I am and, one would assume, explaining why I then said "is there anyone there I can speak with?".

(and just so we're clear, my name is NOT Anna Bee. My real name is SO distinctive that when I checked the USA social security register ie the one with A BILLION more citizens listed than the Australian WILL ever have, it gave NO returns, so it's not like that dumbass couldn't have worked out who was on the phone)

Karen's obviously either looking for trouble or is actually THAT amount of dumb, because she said "You can talk to me". So I said (again, casually and easily because I kind of have bigger fish to fry right now than holding a grudge or fearing an interaction with that idiot) "thanks, Karen, I appreciate that, but I'd prefer to speak with someone else", and then SHE said "well I don't want to talk to you either" before jamming her finger on the hold button and flouncing off.

Another stellar moement in conversational history occurred last night when I called my brother and sister in law about a phone call I'd received that was meant for them (see above: weird ass name, only a handful in entire national phone book). Bla bla general conversation bla, and when my SIL asked how I was, I wasn't going to even MENTION anything, you know, REAL. Then in the space of a moment that encompassed a whole lot of overthinking about possible outcomes, I made the decision to take a risk and treat these people like they ARE my family, and shared the most recent details of my life. They'll be listed with the hospital as the ones to call if anything unplanned occurs (ie I DIE) and I figured that maybe part of the reason they're not in my life because I don't INCLUDE them in my life, and at this moment and in this situation, apart from you guys here, I really DON'T have anyone looking out for me. I'm alone in this and have even had to LIE to the hospital and tell them my neighbor (who is a man who had a stroke several years ago, is blind, and needs a gopher to get around in and who is NOT coming to stay) is coming to stay with me for the requisite 24 hours of post surgery at-home care, and this is my FAMILY we're talking about here.

My brother's response? Why would you call us to tell us your bad news?

So I'm torn between believing I DID act inappropriatly by calling and saying "hi, bla bla and since you asked, how about some Heavy Drama to brighten your day?" and that he is a TOTAL asshat.

2005-2007© aibee