Saturday, June 21, 2008

my head hurts

So I've been nursing this fucking headache for two days now, and my eyes are all wonky and OF COURSE I keep being hit with the associated waves of nausea. And my back hurts. I feel like I've been hit by a truck, not because I'm pregnant - which is not to say I'm not pregnant, mind, as no pee sticks have been peed on here folks, because as long as I keep my pee where it belongs ie not all over my hands as I try to direction the damn stuff onto some hinky Absorbent Tipped Thing, I can still dream.


The point.

Is that I'm headachey and I can't focus and I'm nauseous and I might as well have been hit by a damn truck because when that trolley boy (man, whatever, dude was at least 45) lost control of his row of fifty billion trolleys and whacked the lot of them into the small of my back, it FELT like a damn truck had hit me. I honestly thought I'd been hit by a car because a) everyone is an idiot and I seem to have a big ol' target painted on my rear end, and b) I was in a car lot waiting for this DIPSHIT to reverse out of her damn carpark but because she had NO idea how large her car was (it wasn't, it was a freakin' suzuki swift) in reference to the ENTIRE parking lot (which is huge with a ton of room to three point turn the QEfuckingII), she took FOREVER and if it were not for her idiot self blocking my way, Daniel and I would have cruised my own trolley back to our car in less time than it took for me to get whacked so hard I saw stars.

I felt so shaky for like, TWO WHOLE DAYS, and now I'm not shaky but I'm in pain and feel exhausted and woe, all because of the nimrod factor in MyTown.

So I'm injured, is what I'm saying, and positive that the whole experience has shattered my chances this time round, especially since all the really awesome symptoms like the bloating and the boobs and not being able to poop AT ALL, god help me, suddenly waned. Who knew I could be so sad about taking a righteous dump? And then there was this ****warning*****major squick alert**** ohmyGODHURL type, uh, stuff in my underthings that was entirely unrelated to the dumpage, so I placed my hand to my brow and woefully and metaphorically saluted the imaginary flag waving forlornly at half mast.

Then like any thinking person would, I consulted with Dr Google for confirmation so I could move forward with the grieving process.

I found this page.

Note the title: When IVF Works.

Works, people. And after skimming through all the joyous information about it being NORMAL to lose the pregnancy symptoms as your body gets its shit together following the EXTREME demands you've recently placed on it (talk about a Duh moment, right there. Geesh), I found the bit where it says that all sorts of weird shit coming out of your vag is NORMAL too. So that piece of I don't know WHAT the EFF OhEmGEE wasn't necessarily a death knoll. In fact, it could be a good sign as it might mean my endometrium (is that how it's spelled? My spell check red underlining me) is being nestled into.

So on that note, I'll leave you with something to think about: with a little over a week until the official pregnancy test, and only a few days until a non-pregnant, woeful period would be due, this would be an excellent time to start taking bets.

2005-2007© aibee