let's play a game

It's called WTF Is Up With My Back Lawn?

Aside from the mad landscaping, that is.

That shit was laid about two and half years ago (which, as an aside, is why I have that obnoxious donate button over there on the side bar. In the event some passing philanthopist drops by and needs to know where to dump his thousands of surplus dollars) and as far as I know, didn't come with a built in self destruction device. Moreover, it's a WEED. My back lawn is a vast expanse of weed ie you can't kill it. And yet!

This is what looked like before the big bucks were splashed around:


Holy shit, right? So I'm not totally negativo about what we can see here:

I KNOW. Holy shit! Check out the transformation! etc

Except it should be GREEN. And THIS is what those brown patches look like close up.



They look just like DIRT, maybe because they ARE dirt.

My lawn guy said "I dunno. Beetles?", so, seriously, wtf IS is up with my back lawn? Because, sportsfans, it's NOT beetles.