Saturday, March 22, 2008


social outcast

So we went to the local pool the the last two days of the aformentioned record breaking heatwave, and as it turns out, I'm an idiot.

X three hundred and sixty five billion.

Because we had an absolute blast and did I mention? Last two days of heatwave? Also, last hot days AT ALL of this season?

Seriously, what a tool.

We could have been hanging out at the pool for the last FOUR months, dipping our entire selves in the water and meeting the other pool hounds hanging out there, except there I was, all "but the pool is a toxic zone of poisonous chemicals and the beach is so much better. I mean, it's natural" which was a sentence followed closely by "but it's so freakin' sandy that I think we'll just stay at home and dip our feet in this here two inch deep kiddy pool".

Id. Iot.

So yes. The pool. In which we spent way into Daniel's naptime last week marinating ourselves in all those atrocius chemicals, which totally aren't chloriney and stinky and which did not, in any way, fuck with our skin, hair, eyes, or life expectancy. I don't even care that some kid puked in the pool before we got there. Possibly because we'd been paddling around in the water for at least an hour before someone told us. "Hmm..." I said, "maybe that's why the wading pool was empty when we arrived.". Bah, that's what the non smelly chemicals are for, and the turbo charged filtering systems, because these are pools for babies, aka poop, puke and wee machines, and besides, fish shit in the ocean all the time and you don't get anyone rushing up to you and forcing you into a secretive huddle and pointing over yonder before whispering in your ear that it was that fish in this ocean.

ANYWAY, hung out a lot and once he'd got a lay of the land and the fact that the pool wasn't going to swallow him whole if he ventured away from my knee, Daniel took to following all the other kids around the wading pool and was totally oblivious to being absolutely ignored by them. He was splishyspashying his way after them, all "YAAAAAAY", and they were thoroughly enmeshed in their little enclave and were ignoring my kid. Meanwhile my heart was breaking and I was planning on how to get even with these little shits. Nah, not really, but I'm not kidding when I say I was watching all this societal heirarchy shit going on and the tears were threatening to explode from my face. My child, the social outcast! Woe!! Man, I'm going to be totally fucked if he comes home from school one day and tells me that So And So wouldn't talk to him all day because it's bound to happen and oh my heart. Big black sunglasses saved the day, I'm just saying. Gah. Then there was this one girl who kept paddling around on a kickboard and asking Daniel to chase here but he, the little freak, had no idea she even existed and just kept on trying to break it with the in crowd.

The lowlight of the day was when the turbo changed filtration system stole Daniel's Thomas The Tank Engine after he tossed it over the edge of the pool and into the....thing that the water gets sucked through, and there went that plucky little tank engine. My heart broke into a million pieces AGAIN when Daniel looked sadly at me and said "THOMAS GONE!! (the woe has no effect on his hundred and ten decibel minimum), to which I replied "Yes. Yes he is. Because you chucked him away." because broken hearts do not deter me from teaching the lessons from where you can grab them. Daniel has been asking me where Thomas is since then, never mind the fifty billion other identical Thomases we've got around here, and I did ask the lifeguard to look for the little fucking train in the HUGE filtration tank, and he did, but nothing has shown up yet s I think it's safe to say that little Thomas is gone for good.

The weather is meant to be around 29C tomorrow, which is likely to be Summer's last hurrah, especially since it's Autumn already, ahem, so this Easter, we're going to the pool to do ungodly things like pee in it (him) and continue to swim in it (me).

Happy Easter, y'all. :)

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