Friday, October 16, 2009

change + me = nausea also head pain

The time between talking to a preschool director and Daniel actually STARTING preschool took about 0.23 seconds. He's alseep right now, and has no idea his life is about to change today. TODAY, people, and FOREVER.

We've got orientation at 9, and we'll both be there for an hour, then we'll both leave and I will no doubt clutch my heart and wonder what in fuck I think I'm doing pulling my kid out of that noisy noisy disruptive childcare centre and putting him into something so vastly different with different children, a calmer atmostphere, with new playmates but no friends, and omg, NO TRICYCLES. Especially the tandem ones which up Daniel's Awesome Factor MARKEDLY when you see him tearing around the playground out back with a freakin' PASSENGER on board.

I guess I'm just worried (SCARED! I YAM SCARED!) this new set up will get in the way of him being a boy, a noisy, energetic, physical, boy, because Montessori literature (oh hai, did I mention it's a Montessori school?)(you all: No shit, hippie) inevitably mentions how quiet the classroom environment is. And then when we creepily lurked outside the school playground after our interview yesterday, it wasn't noisy there either, and I'm worried (SCARED!) that Daniel is going to have a lot of alone time because he's Different or Loud or, I don't know, maybe just New.

I'm also worried okay TERRIFIED that this is going to fuck with his world. Daniel has me. He's got no extended family, no father, no sister, no one outside of us (I'm making myself cry here), which is why we've stuck with childcare for that one day a week when I really don't need it for work commitments. The days he goes, I train one (1) client, then come home, eat bon bons and watch Dr Phil. Which is a lie, but still, I don't do anything that requires Child Free Time. It - maybe only in theory I don't know aaaargh - provides him with something predictable and a handful of someones outside of Just Us.

And on that cheery note, I gotta go. It's 7.45 and we've got to be there at 9 and he's asleep and I'm...not ready for all this.


Nausea is a major symptoms of morning sickness, well you know, there are ways to stop morning sickness..
and enjoy life.. its a matter of adjustment!

By Blogger ellie, at 5:17 AM  

You've obviously read the rest of my blog.

I deadpanned that, asshole.

By Blogger aibee, at 9:34 AM  

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