today=probable suck

I had a blood test last night.

The results will be in sometime today, so this is my last few hours of cruising through the last week or so on the Delusional Cloud.

I mean, I COULD be pregnant.

Daniel walked up to me yesterday, patted me on the tummy and said "baby belly!", which, seriously, WHERE DID HE GET THAT FROM IT WASN'T FROM ME, I DON'T EVEN SAY 'BABY BELLY' WHEN IT IS A BABY BELLY INTENTIONAL CAPS LOCK.

So my son is obviously psychic and his observation is obviously a sign, OBVIOUSLY.

And it's that kind of random shit that's been been keeping me from going nuts (or maybe verifying that I'm already nuts) since last Friday, because when you're desperate, EVERYTHING is a sign. The most compelling being the four women I know directly and the one friend of a friend I heard about who all had their period when they were newly pregnant.

I called the unit yesterday to cancel this morning's blood test, citing my kind-of-but-not-quite-period as a reason to NOT get up at dawn and to NOT stress the entire time I was there as the only morning I work is also on a Tuesday and getting there on time after a morning appointment ALWAYS involves me freaking out a LOT before I do, and even THEY said a period isn't always a definite anti-sign.

So the unit want a blood test because they want a level, and I don't because I'm in my happy place right now, and I'd like to stay there for EVER, thank you very much.

Because the alternative is just too scary.