Monday, December 29, 2008

people suck, chapter three billion and counting

So I was out looking at cars today, and as I was leaving a car yard that reeked of No Way Am I Buying A Used Vehicle From Here, I slipped on some gravel strewn over the concrete and did that embarrassing dance where your arms flail around and your legs spin under you like you're a Looney Tunes character until you finally do NOT defy the laws of gravity and fall over.

A car was stopping to turn not ten feet away from me and let me take a moment to inquire, what the fuck is wrong with people? I mean, if I saw someone do a merry dance before falling gracelessly onto their ass, I'd at the very LEAST call out through my already open window "are you okay?", but would in fact most likely stop and cross the road to a) help them up and then b) ask if they were okay.

Which is NOT what happened when I fell over in front of whatever human deficit was driving past at the time.

And on the other side, was the used car salesman showing an old bucket to three would-be car buyers. I still can't believe none of them saw me, but apparently not one of them did so NO ONE offered assistance or asked if I was okay, which seriously offends my sense of what's right, you know? Not that I was bleeding profusely from a dangling limb or anything, but still, NO ONE?

Then I realised that this was in my favor because did I don't really want any more legal hassles when I'm only just now wading through a fresh bunch of them thank you trolley guy. So I, bruise on my ass and bruised ego in hand, hobbled back to my car, all ingognito like. Then I hobbled back to used car guy because I figured I'd do him a fucking favor and tell him his veranda type thingy was slippery, he might want to sweep away the tripping hazard.

Dude was so rude to me. I was feeling the effects of the adrenalin by then, and was all shaky and forlorn, but after that verbal ass whooping, I was almost crying. Then he turned and walked away and after I gazed slack jawed and sobby eyed at him for a brief moment, turned to walk away too.

Then I thought, no, fuck you you giant fucker, and followed used car guy so I could ask for a chair, a glass of water, and five minutes because, y'all, I was shaking and trying not to cry like some big baby, and I didn't want to sit alone in my car and try to get a fucking grip, I wanted at least SOME of the compassion I show for others is that too much to ask oh I think not.

But Captain Fuckwit was already missing. The three other guys were still there and wondering if I was making a fuss over nothing or if I really DID go for a huge sixer, I asked them "did you see me fall?", hoping one of them would offer me some human kindness and say "Yes I did, are you okay?".

The captain blew out of his office SO FAST and began YELLING at me "they didn't see anything, I know what your game is yell yell YELL".

I was all "WHAT?", and he was all "INSURANCE!!", and, oh yeah, check that. I can see why he got that idea. How cool would it have been though, if I'd yelled, finger in the air, "now there's an idea!"?

But I had the decency to feel foolish instead because yes, maybe my actions could have been seen as being questionable, and THEN I felt so fucking angry because, "questionable"? He had NO right to yell at me. NONE, and not only because I fell in his yard and actually and really and truly did hurt myself.

HE FAILED TO CLEAN HIS SHIT UP (intentional capslock)

Therefore, my fall = his responsibility

And there he was trying to intimidate me when I a) did him (and the brittle old lady I visualised coming a cropper in the same patch of gravel) a fucking FAVOR and b) plainly, simply, and pathetically wanted someone to metaphorically pat me on the fucking head and say something NICE to me.

Which I would do if someone approached me and said "I'm feeling a little shaky". I would WANT to help.

So fuck you, used car guy.

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