Friday, July 06, 2007

the one that became about product reviews

honest to goodness, ebay buyers can be an irritating bunch of maroons.

In other news - and I don't know how it is that I update with such regularity *coughcough* because it's not like I'm frikkin' Bill Gates with a multi million dollar corporation to manage, but I simply haven't had the time to sit down and bang out a few words - Daniel is sitting next to me not eating his morning cereal and I wonder, is it wrong to shovel some in mid Wail Of Displeasure? Because I just did that he hasn't choked and a spoon full of moosh has disappeared neatly down his scream hole. I think I've just discovered an awesome trick but I'm also wondering, is this an abuse of his civil rights?

I'm off lingerie shopping today with Enn. She's getting it together for an eventful evening with her new younger man, so it's been a week of interesting discussions vis a vis her map of Tasmania and the preferences of youth today. I'm really really really really really really hoping the shopping trip involves the understated elegance of exclusive wanky swanky stores because oh my god the alternatives.

and if anyone is interested in a cereal update: mission aborted.

The upside of this hunger strike is that rather than joyfully squeezing out three giant sized poops a day, each weighing as much as a newborn and all about the size of his head, Daniel is down to popping out a modest and teeny tiny pellet about once every three days.

and son, when you come across this journal in twenty or so years and realise that I did, indeed, discuss the contents of your bowels: you're welcome, sincerely yours, mummy.

and! I'm a total tool because there was this awesome dirt cheap microdermabrasion kit on sale and I wanted it so badly. My skin is the Mr T of skin in that it doesn't look that attractive but it can about handle anything thrown its way, so I'm alll aboutn the sanding it down until it shines, motherfucker. Except there was also this other total body (TOTAL BODY!) microdermabrasion kit on offer for only 70 bucks and being the queen of decisive, I was all "this one no that one no this one no that one" until I threw my hands up in despair and stomped out the room. The fucking thing is selling at my local store for almost 120 smackeroos, and I get stuck in The Circle Of Choice. Total. Tool. I swear.

Which reminds me! I've mentioned this place from time to time and often times to the same people so I'm going to mention it here too.

You will LOVE it. I don't wear much make up and my skin care routine is minimalist. I do, however, have a healthy obsession with the make up I do use (mineral) and the skin care products I buy (skin biology). Despite this minimalist approach, Makeupalley is my idea of heaven (is it odd that a catholic raised, convent educated Italian girl always spells 'heaven' wrong the first time round?) . If it were possible to kiss the ground on the way in, I would do it. It's got everything make uppy you ever need to know, and the best thing is that you can sign up as a member (for free!) and then cruise the user review boards and get a really good idea from the reviews written by every day people like you and me who aren't being paid by the make up companies to say nice things about their products (also, I recognise the need to punctuate!). I check there no matter what I'm about to buy, and spend a good amount of time wiping away tears of regret that I either a) can't afford some of the things others have raved about or b) live in Australia and those lucky americans get to return things that suck and c) those lucky Americans seem to have a buttload more of the good stuff to buy.

Speaking of products though, I had a facial the other week with a product called Freeze. They were offering them for twenty five bucks so why the fuck not? This stuff is supposed to stop your wrinkles from wrinkling or something equally as glorious, and the effect is meant to be accumulative too. The more you use it, the less like an old bag you'll (well not YOU. I'm talking about the rest of us old bags) look. From memory there was this MakeYourLipsLookBigger goop, and it was all tingly and ooooh. Maybe it's hope talking, but I think it actually did have a beestingey effect.

In other beauty news, I got my nails done last week. Some paint on shit called Bio Sculpture. There are no tips so it won't make your nails look longer immediately, but it goes over the top of your own nails and toughens them up so that they can grow long and lurvely all on their own(and wouldn't you know it, I broke one of those fuckers right off the very day I was going to get them done. Awesome) They also don't completely ruin your nails, not like regular acrylics, and while they're permanent, you can also soak them off if you keep poking out your eyeballs with your fabulous new talons. So yes, that's been my luxurious thrill, and I'm looking forward to my appointment next week when the girl does some kind of nail maintenance and I get to feel like a movie star.

I sound like I spend my life with my fingers soaking in a bowl while someone massages a concoction of butterfly wings and angel's breath over my face. I don't. Honest. I do have skin with issues, hence my interest in anything that will help it look less like an old sow's ear. To this end, skin biology is best product I've used. The site is a bitch to navigate but where there's a will, etc, and it's totally worth it because this stuff is The Absolute Shit. It's helped even out the colour of my skin, and the texture is pretty darned good now, especially considering the death rays I've spent my life under. I like that there's no hype or BS about this stuff too. A million years ago and about a week after I started using it, Stef commented on how radiant my skin was. This is the guy who wouldn't notice if you answered the door wearing a gas mask and carrying a duck under your left arm, so if he's notices a radiance associated with the copper peptides, those bitches ARE doing something.

ALSO! Another tip. This stuff called Acnederm (from ego and available at most pharmacies)(here. I have no idea about Over There). My dermatologist put me onto a really squeally expensive lotion called fineraIhavenoideasomethingdadidadida that cost a million dollars and that was supposed to lighten the BEARD OF PIGMENT MY GOD COULD IT GET ANY WORSE that appeared when I was pregnant, and while it's marketed for anti ageing, it was also supposed to help lighten the beard of death. BUT! I found this acnederm stuff that has the exact same active ingredient except 5% more of it, thank you baby jesus, for like, $8.95, and bugger me if it didn't lighten the stupid mask of freakin' zorro I'd been sporting as well as making my skin smoother and kind of poreless. The azaelic (whatev) acid is supposed to exfoliate the top layer of skin off bla bla bla, but it can also be an irritant so be careful. You heard it here first.

Okay, what else can I waffle on about, robbing you of any updates to the Lawyer Chronicles (and there are updates) and probably boring you shitless?

Goji juice: It's the next Big Thing and it's supoosed to be chock full of all kinds of shit that make you look and feel younger and whatever the fuck so of course I jumped on the bandwagon. I drink my 30 mls each morning and I don't think imagining it, I think it does have a positive effect on my fatigue levels. Oh, I'm not planning on running any marathons anytime soon, but a day or two after I started taking it, I thought "!". I saw the naturopath a month after my surgery, which was a couple of weeks after starting the Goji and for the first time ever, he said my blood slides were the best he'd seen in a while and that I didn't need anything else to improve my gorgeous self. Only he didn't say gorgeous, that was just hope and artistic license.

and now I've got to go get ready for a meeting which, bleah. Me? I'm all about the bunnies and the kittens and the pretty things. This whole corporatemeetingletspretendwereinbigbusiness thing puts a serious harsh on my mellow, man.

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