Thursday, April 12, 2007

ass hat updates

After all the calling and the messaging and the calling and oh my fucking god, essdee sent me this little gem.

Not sure what has happened since we last spoke a few weeks ago, but it is clear to me now that you no longer wish to communicate with me. Maybe u have decided u dont (sic) want me or [daughter's name] to have any contact with daniel. Think again. I will be in touch through my lawyer. Pity, we could have made it work without all the extra stress or cost. Have a happy easter. Thought u were different but your (sic) the same as all the rest of them!

Obviously, I couldn't let this one lie without some comment because if it wasn't so pathetic, it'd be hilarious. I especially like the creative use of the exclamation point in his closing statement. Usually he puts in more than that so dude was totally ruffling his feathers and being, you know, firm with me. Because I'm the same as all the rest. Which he meant as an insult to me, obviously. So I called the fucker up and opened with something like, "look, cocksuck..." or maybe I just thought it. I don't quite recall.

Basically I told him that the reason I didn't reply to his BILLIONS of calls and text messages was because I really don't enjoy going to town on his personality flaws, nor do I respond well to the pissy little attitude he was developing after the second phone call went unanswered, but if he really wants to talk to me now, okay. Let's talk.

Then I took a deep breath before assassinating his personality. That's pretty much it. He whined about poor him and shit, and I headed him off at the pass each and every time. I wish it was enjoyable to do because god knows so many opportunities have already presented themselves, but usually I count to ten and remind myself that this relationship needs to be amicable, regardless of his pitiful contribution to said amicableness. In any case, to each his own, is my usual creed, and if a tool wants to be a tool, who am I to demand they untool? I'd rather avoid them and let little lambs eat ivy, or some such. Unfortunately, this particular tool is not one I can walk away from.

I can't believe I still have to look after this wad and explain things to him bit by bit and still have him miss the damn point. Every. Single. Time.

Case in point.

essdee: I'd like to set up regular meetings!
aibee: not happening until I see some sign that you're working toward being less of a tool.
essdee: Okay. Hey, I'd like to set up regular meetings!
aibee: *wonders how difficult it would be to bury the body*

I particularly loved the vaguely threatening (and highly amusing) portion of his text message, the bit where he instructs me to "Think again". I addressed this by reminding him of his track record and deadbeat tendencies. Honestly, I was on a roll and totally being an AA sponsor. Recognise the hurts you've caused! Make amends! The best part of this entire conversation was that he kept digging deeper and deeper holes for himself, and I wasn't even handing him the damn shovel.

Per essempio:

him: I've proven I've accepted Daniel into my life by putting him on my health insurance.

My version: He already has a family health insurance policy and I asked him to add Daniel to it around eight months ago because while adding him to mine would cost me over two thousand dollars, it wouldn't increase his premiums at all. Not one more brass razzoo would he be paying. So he figured that adding Daniel was the deal clincher, the one that would make me see the light and allow him to see Daniel this Easter, and I figured think again, buddy. He only added Daniel to the policy last week, meaning that rather than having only four more months to wait until the policy is fully instated, our twelve months waiting periods start now. All he had to do was call the insurance company and say "Hi there, I'd like to add a child". That's it. And the only reason he finally fucking got around to doing it is because I made the phone call anyway because he was too scared or precious of stupid or all of the above, so his little deal clincher actually was, in my opinion, one more example of his irresponsible (big and giant) head being firmly wedged between his ass cheeks.

Anyway, this went on for a half an hour or so. Me trying to make him see the damn light, him making shadow puppets with his hands and saying 'arf arf'. Honestly, I'm not sure who's the bigger idiot. Him for not getting it or me for thinking he just might one day, if I try hard enough. Or me because I'm still not sure about the whole whose/who's thing. Whose?

The conversation ended when I ended it because otherise I'd still be saying the same shit and he'd still be saying 'Hey! How about we set up regular meetings?'. Then when I woke up there was this little gem waiting for me:

I do not want to fight with u. I have to live with the guilt i feel 4 the rest of my life. I am just trying to make things right and accept responsibility for the situation. I would like to be part of daniel's life and have a good relationship with u as well. I still have fond memories of all the good times we shared. Just trying to make things work out the best for all involved. Goodnight.

Does anyone else hear the teeny tiny little violins playing there? The sucking, the little birdies flying around his (big and giant) head? It took me two days until I realised this message was bugging the shit out of me too, because I'm fucked if I'm going to let him think he's the poor, poor thing he thinks he is, so I called him back and ripped him another entirely entirely new asshole.

He talks the talk and all that crap, but he has no idea what the fuck he means nor does he understand that he has a role to play if he really wants all that friendly, workable shit. Seriously and historically, it's only ever worked between us because of me. Oh, and the good times we shared? I was miserable and felt alone and unloved most of the time because he didn't want anyone to know about me. We never did anything. He was always late, really late, and he never called, would forget to call, was often too busy to call, was changing plans to do something else, and I wouldn't call him because he didn't like it when I did. Those good times were all about him getting it all his way and of me finding someone who'd treat me like shit.

Yeah, good times.

Also, OKAY!! Yes! I was a doormat, I get it. SHEESH. I also get I wasn't the victim here. I got what I wanted too, but 'fond memories'? Uh, no.

In the end, this relationship will again be amicable and all that ridiculous bullshit, and it will be that because of me (again!), not him. Not because I'm still a doormat, no siree, but because I am the better person and this dipshit is, god help me, Daniel's father. Bleah.

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