Thursday, March 22, 2007

Ass Hats


It's all about me, because this week, I nominate myself for the Ass Hat In The News award.

No I'm not famous for my publicly airing my talent for Ass Hattery, at least not that I'm aware of, but while I didn't get around to writing about anything about an actual Ass Hat In The News, I did approach the assignment phonetically and so, set about writing this entry as naked as they come and while manifesting some kind of strong regional accent. The ass hat component comes to you care of the I Suck aspect of my non compliance to the rules, making me at this moment in time, an Ass Hat In The Nudes.

Mexican wave, anyone?

Although, if I thought about it a little bit it wouldn't be too hard to come up with something more newsy. Something like that fuckwit Ben Cousins who, only after being suspended indefinitely for being a total wankbag, has had his father make the teary eyed statement about his son's addiction problem. Only it wasn't drug addiction until it his drug abuse got in the way of his football funded lifestyle and instead of being vilified as he should because, come on, he's a Brownlow medalist and he gets paid pots of money to be a superhero so is conceivably a role model to all the wanna be league players kicking a nerfball during recess at school, he's the troubled player who needs our sympathy and concern.

Way to pave his way back to earning those millions, pa.

My point is, what kind of example is Cousins setting? Get fucked up and get away with it? Fantastic. I'd like a bit of that action myself, thankyou.

He's not the biggest ass hat though, he's just one example of what makes league football an Ass Hat extravaganza. The AFL facilitates the multitude of cover-ups that protects these players when they go on their drug fueled rampages and make their underworld connections. The AFL enables them - and our kids - to believe that they are bullet proof, which is just what the youth of Australia needs to learn is acceptable adult behaviour. Jesus.

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