Wednesday, August 03, 2005

up your nose with a rubber hose, yo'

*warning* this boring entry may contain information that is offensive, deadly even, to rhinovirii.

I had a nearly-cold not quite two weeks ago. All the signs were there: the snot filled head and the crusty chest, and with last week being the only week this year that I could NOT take off, what with my aqua aeorbics course on, and potentially being too tubby to even do the next course, I was worried. Being pregnant, I couldn't take any drugs, so I scooted off to the homeopathic pharmacy for some Magic Drops.

This cold disappeared within a day, I shit you not.

Everyone at work has been sick these past few weeks, so I've been working a million extra classes in a veritable germ factory, so by last Monday, the tinging nose and the wheezy chest started up again. I started again the homeopathics - and lo! I escaped the germs and spent last week in the pool! Even surrounded a bunch of other suckers - who obviously don't know about witch doctory, oobie doobie, wriggle my fingers in your face medicines, because they ALL dripped snot for the entire three days (ewww) - I escaped with an unclogged nose and a clear chest. Weee!

That victory aside, I've felt a bit under the weather these past few days. Headachey, tired and generally bla, but put it down to working too hard and being run down. The massively dark rings under my enormously swollen eyes I woke up with this morning told another story.

I've got a sinus infection, and aside from looking like megashit, you know what that means?

Yes! It means another round of salt water sniffing.

It's not an extreme sport, though it could be considered as such.

Here's what you do: Take one cup of boiled, pure water and in it, dissolve two teaspoons of rock salt and one teaspoon of bicarb soda*. Allow to cool. Take one booger snatcher and rather than use it to snatch boogers, fill the bulb end with the salted water, stick the pointy up one nostril while blocking the other, and squish the muthafucking lot up your nose as you sniff. Hard.

It's not pleasant, true. Some may even call it diabolical, but I sniffed a load up each nostril not thirty minutes ago, and I'm already feeling better and that three day old headache has vamoosed.

*I think you heathens call it 'baking soda'. Make sure the ingredients contain ONLY soda though, cuz some baking sodas over here also contain cornflour, and putting cornflour up yer nose is not something I'd recommend, ever.

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