Saturday, July 16, 2005


by tazjia.

What were three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?

1) Loaned money.

Jiminy crickets, the amount of money out there that has my name on it but that resides, either in the ether because of bad business management (is it any wonder that his name was 'Rob'?) or in someone else's bank account is astounding. Well, maybe not astounding in the universal sense, but definitely when you consider that despite being burned, ripped off, robbed (*waving* Hi Rob!) , I kept lending money to people. Fucking doh! In retrospect, it probably had something to do with being young and alone (wah) and believing (hoping?) that trust could be bought rather than earned, and that friendships arise from trust, bla bla wank wank. Because of my years with anorexia, I never learned how to develop meaningful adult relationships. My meaningful relationships revolved around food, or lack of it, and as much as I wanted to belong, my time was spent making sure no one got close to me. I'm a complex little critter, you know, deep and shit. Or, I spend a lot of time blaming anorexia for stuff that didn't happen to me, but rather, I made happen. So anyway, in the absence of adult variety, friend making skilz, I lent money to people and hoped they'd become my friends because of it. To clarify, I didn't chase down strangers in the street and press fifty dollar bills into their hands or anything. These were sycophantic parasites people I worked with (Hi Rob!) and then, when I hadn't lost enough money, people I mixed with, obviously (now. Duh) on a superficial level.

With this in mind, I totally recommend developing a neurosis of sorts, preferably a really big one, cuz then you can work it, baby, and blame everything on it.

per essempio: I backed my car into a wall and dented the living shit out of the tailgate but it's not my fault because I have an eating disorder.

I didn't smash my car, but see how it works? I tell you, neuroses are a marvelous tool.

Moving right along....

2) Spending the rest of my money on really, really dumb shit. Shit which is too embarrassing to mention, and the repercussions of which will affect me for the rest of my life.

I blame my anorexia. (no really, I do)

and finally *drumroll*

3) Listening to my parents when they told me I couldn't run away and join the circus become a flight attendant.

That's my biggest ever regret. Ever.

At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

My baby (anyone else notice how I've gone from 'being pregnant' to 'having a baby?').


If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

1) Nonno. We only met twice, and it was such a loss to know him so little. He was an Italian immigrant to Russia, who, in an economic merger, was married to Nonna so her poor, yet noble family, could reap the benefits of his peasant family's wealth.

Great plan, but it blew up in their faces when, with the emergence of the USSR, their assets became the property of the Soviets. They escaped to Italy, leaving in the middle of the night with only their young son, my uncle, in tow.

Sadly, this personal history was never documented or even told in great detail to anyone. Not only was this world history, it was my history, but more than that, he was my grandfather and in the brief time I knew him, I loved him with all my heart.

Nonno died about ten years ago, and I'm not sure how it is you miss someone you met only for the grand total of a few hours, but I do. I miss him a lot.

2) Nonna, for all the same reasons. She wasn't as warm as Nonno, and had a bunch of neuroses of her own. Like, she put herself to bed twenty years before she died because she was 'ill'. Thing is, she wasn't. Not then, anyway. What she was back then was a consumate hyperchondriac, but because she was bedridden, she became osteoporitic, so ultimately, she became the invalid she set out to be.

Unlike Nonno, Nonna never really felt like my kin. She was a woman I wanted to know, but who only met once. If I knew her, I'm sure I would have loved her too.

3) My child, as an adult. I know I'll get the oppotunity to dine with him/her/it anyway, but it'd be nice to get a glimpse of what is to be.

4) & 5) My sisters. They both died before we met, and I'd love to see who they would have grown up to be.

and if I could have a sixth, it would be John Denver.

Shut up.

God, I loved his music. When I was a young 'un, and my family relatively normal, we'd go to the Centralian Hotel to eat chevapchichi with barbecue sauce, and I'd pester mum to play and replay 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' on the juke box, over and over again, and she would.

The rest of the patrons probably all hate, if not John Denver then, that song to this day, but for me, it was the begining of a long and satisfying love affair with him (and I think I just explained my attraction to men in glasses), and I'd like to consumate that relationship over anti pasto and a robust red.

Also, I'd like to ask him how he could write such a beautiful song as 'Annie's song' then dump her to marry that slut Cassandra when he should have dumped her to marry me.

If you had three wishes not supernatural, what would they be?

1) A never ending barrel of money. (What? You wanted deep and meaningful?)

2) Creativity. I'd like to be an artist, a painter, a musician, an author, a poet. Anything other than who I am, actually. ;)

3) A normal metabolism and a healthy attitude toward food.

Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

We need a Roller Coaster, and we could really do with reclaiming our now defunct flagship, The Big Giant Poo. It was a mountain type amusement arcade thingy smack bang on the foreshore, and it totally looked like someone had taken a huge dump on the esplanade. It was demolished back in January to make way for new apartment buildings, which, while they also look like shit, don't possess the same joi de vivre as the BGP.

Visitors should avoid mixing with the locals and anything wearing flannelette.

Name one event that has changed your life.

My first inclination was to cite being pregnant, and it has been a life changing event, but it had to have been preceded by something even more influential. No, not having sex, that came later. It was, quite simply, choosing to eat again.

Tag five people.

Oh dear.

Sid? Mr Dabbles? veach?

Or...I know!

All you blogless fuckers reading this right now: Get a damn blog and consider yourself tagged. Hmmph.

2005-2007© aibee