Saturday, June 18, 2005

at last

and after six weeks on it, I'm finally off that muckinfruckin Crinone shit, and waddya know? I have eyeballs! My shoes fit! And did I mention, I have eyeballs!

The grumpiness? It has not passed. Then again, the same idiots are still driving on my roads, and are apparently still on a mission to irritate the living shit out of me by:
a) pulling out of a car park right in front of me-and then abusing me. wtf?
b) wandering across a two lanes and almost into my car.
c) pulling right out in front of me from a side street, causing me to come to a screaming halt, and then forcing me to drive at 30kmh below the speed limit. Listen up, dickwad, I was the only car on the road, and if you'd waited two seconds, you could have calmly pulled out after I passed your idiotic self, and carried out your 'I'm a clown driving a toy car' act without causing me brain damage.
d) driving next to each other on a two laned, main road at 10 kmh below the speed limit, effectively blocking anyone from passing them in what is known as 'the right hand passing lane'. Fuckers.
e) speeding up to cut me off when I indicate before changing lanes into that humungeous space available right there for me to do it in, and without disturbing anyone. Oi, fuckface, it's not a race and you're not Michael Schumacher.
f) stopping at a red light and leaving a car length space ahead of your stupid self. Take off your ridiculous hat and understand there are sensors that switch these things on, and if you don't move the fuck forward, we're going to be here until The Rapture.
g) not turning right on the green light when it's come up three times already. What's the matter, you like the pretty colours?
h) braking and then indicating. It's called an 'indicator', you peckerhead, not an 'I've already braked, and now I'm going to turn'. Fucksake.

The universal symbol for 'I can't drive' is a visible hat, and not necessarily on the driver. A white hat is a red alert. Interesting, at least to me and on an anthropological level, is that the tissue box in the back window has become the modern day a warning signal. It stands to reason then, that a white hat and a tissue box should be known as the universal symbol for 'this driver has been marked for extermination'.

2005-2007© aibee