Thursday, May 12, 2005

mini rant

He thinks I got what I wanted, a baby, but it isn't what I wanted. This is something else entirely, and yes, it's also a baby, and yes, I do want it. What's your point?

Also, I went ahead with the IVF plans and stuff, but I never expected them to work. IVF has a high failure rate so while I went into it with an positive attitude, it doesn't mean I expected to get a baby out of it. I expected to be able to meet my maker in many, many years time at peace and knowing I'd done my best to try, and what wasn't meant to be, wasn't meant to be. Then I got knocked up during what can only be described as this century's version of the immaculate conception. That wasn't meant to happen because I'm infertile ferpetesake! And irresponsible, as it turns out. *banging head against wall*

He's freaking out because he has a daughter and a life and work and friends and family and he's embarrassed and he feels sick when he thinks about it and yadda yadda yadda. Why he thinks it's okay to tell me he 'feels sick' is beyond me. What in fuck am I supposed to do with that information? Does it really need to be said? As much as he's irritating the living shit out of me at present, and as much as I don't like him very much right now, I wouldn't tell him I feel sick when I think of him as the father of my child, because that would be cruel.

Dear father of my child: if you're upset by what you just read (and ha! reading here? as if), my comment about feeling sick was merely an example of an inappropriate response, so chill the fuck out. Kerist.

Okay then. I'm done.

2005-2007© aibee