Wednesday, April 06, 2005

the results are in

estrogen 0.2 versus progesterone 8.0.

Which means my progesterone isn't high, it's still too high to start taking the pill any time soon (yay!), and while the levels are levels are above baseline, which side of ovulation they're in is up for debate. Having consulted my boobs, my money is on the useful side.

Like everyone at the RE's, the nurse was really nice. I'm feeling rather inadequate because I'm doing such a crap job of handling this, and she told me that paradoxically, it tends to be the self sufficient types who have more trouble dealing with the unknowns of IVF, because we are so self sufficient and IVF is about relenquishing control and relying on someone else to know what's best. It's ironic then, that ultimately we're the needier bunch, because we're the ones trying to take what control we can.

The concept of being needy, and therefore annoying, scares me more at this point than does the concept of parenthood.

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