Add a dash of sarcasm and cue the birthday song!

My nanna rang at 8.30 and was on the phone for around 45 seconds before she 'had to go'. Then mum called and spent the first half of the call bitching about nanna, my uncle, nanna, and lessee? my uncle. When she was done, she moved onto me. She needs to talk about these things, apparently. Things like how I was so awful and she was so desperate and I just wanted to die and what was she supposed to do wah wah wah. According to her, she's not being critical, I always take it the wrong way (now I'm no fucking saint, but generally? I listen to this, feel nauseous and deal with it by keeping my trap shut and my indignance deeply buried because in all seriousness, maybe I am taking it the wrong way? And what good would it do to debate with a nutjob the issue?) But today for whatever reason, I decided to test the Good It Would Do Theory™ and told her that, imo, she could really do with dealing with her anger issues because I don't want to deal with them any more and it was twenty years ago (okay, eighteen, but I was driving a point home), I was sick and I probably wasn't operating on all cylinders and what does it have to do with today? When she said 'I just wanted to say....', I cut her off and said 'What mum? What is it you wanted to say that has any relevance to how things are today'. So she hung up on me. I dry heaved for a bit then went to the shops and bought a lettuce and some really cool detox patches for my feet, which so far, have been the highlight of my day.

Woot?