Thursday, February 14, 2008

tick tock

Over on Parentdish, Linda's wondering why she wasn't counting down the seconds for her family to grow to its current proportions.

I have been counting down the seconds. I've been counting them down since Daniel was the naked, purple faced newborn I first met, and now that the seconds until Project Newbee begins are down from the multiple kajillion mark to approximately 350000, I'm as scared as shit. I've probably always been scared as shit, but now I'm open to admitting it to myself because, why not make life a miserable hunk of terrifed?

I feel alone. I feel lost. I feel like this is second best and because I'm all kinds of fucked up, I feel like I have to resort to a test tube with anonymous sperm because I am unacceptable and so, will always be unwanted.

Objectively, I know this is a crock of shit but subjective aibee is a pain in the ass.

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