the wombat eats roots and leaves

which is a very vague reference to a prior entry concerning foliage.

It maybe also be suggestive of short, stubby creatures with no neck and a hairy back.

ANYWAY

It's been suggested I consider sleeping with him.

The ex, not the wombat.

In the interests of having a matched set, so to speak.

If this were to occur, I explained in response to this...interesting... suggestion, that there were certain criteria that would need to be met before the event.

First and most obviously, I would need to be a) ovulating and b) blind drunk and on the verge of unconsciousness.

Secondly, he would need to have signed a sworn affidavit stating that he would NOT EVER, AT ALL be an annoying git, and there would be a clause included stating that if he failed to do so, if he wavered from his solemn promise in any way, shape, or form, he'd have to top himself immediately.

So, waddya think my chances are of getting laid?