I'm so ashamed

What is it about the pregnant belly button? Technically speaking, it being an indicator of the miracle within, it's fecund and replete. Some consider it sweet, cute even - so why does it feel so downright hard core pornographic to me?

It's embarrassing walking around with this thing poking through my clothes? I feel like a choir boy with an erection fercrisake.

The other day though, sporting this obscenity was almost made worthwhile when, after hearing 'aw, how adorable!' (Seriously? Or am I surrounded by fetishists?) from the majority of my aqua class, I blushed adorably and commented that while it may be cute now (meanwhile, what I was really thinking was 'I wonder when Debbie Does Dallas became the new cute?') , if it poked out any further, I was going to apply duct tape to force it to behave. One of the women approached me later to advise me strongly against doing this. I'm glad she did, as it seems I missed the birthing class where I would've learned that my navecular region was actually the baby's breathing apparatus. Oops.

So I was thinking, would the duct tape idea work if I stuck a snorkel underneath it all?