Monday, May 16, 2005

44 days ago today...

...waves rolled on beaches and fireworks lit up the sky, and now here I am, eight weeks pregnant.

I don't understand the math either, but anyway, check this out! It looks human! Kind of! If you squint your eyes up really tight!

Oh my. I just thought of something.

There's a human being living inside me.

Man, that's just too weird.

This is its last week as an embryo and next week, it's officially a foetus.

The first scan is on Friday, and I'm so excited I could pee. I'm pretty damn sad too, because from that day, I'll no longer be involved with the unit and will be under the care of some stranger who'll want to make my privates a lot less so.

Okay, I just freaked myself out.

Freakiness aside, I don't want to leave my RE's unit, ever. I feel safe there, and in a world where no one looks after me, they do. Dammit, now I'm going to cry...

Being pregnant is the scariest thing in the world. This is already the best thing in my life, ever, and not a moment passes that I'm not aware of it. It's scary because now I have something to lose, and I expect that fear will never leave, no matter how old my child is.

Love has been fairly scarce in my life, so it's not something I recognise - or accept - easily, but I already love this little thingydoover so much, it scares me. Yup, this being pregnant gig is scary on so many levels, and, uh, I just made myself cry again. Good grief.

In other news, I finafuckinglly bought a digital camera. My inabilty to post any pictures has nothing to do with being scared of the damn thing, okay? I'm charging the battery. *whistling innocently*

2005-2007© aibee