%$#@#!

I got DSL today.

Who knew that Australia's Premier ISP could take something so simple, and fuck it up so royally?

I'm a telephone service slut. Seriously, I am. Loyalty? Pah. I've been with four phone companies in as many months, so when I got the call offering me gold! and treasures! and twenty minute calls for one buck seventy five! and pretty much the exact same service I already had with another carrier, I lay on my back with my legs in the air and said 'Take me! take me, I'm yours!' signed up.

Then came the lure of a heap of free shit if I added DSL to my phone deal, and so, dizzy with lust, I signed up for that too.

Fast forward to last Thursday, when the idiot in charge of splitting my phone line (whatever) did something whacky doo and destroyed it instead. I had to use my neighbour's phone to sort it out, so not only was I subjected to voice prompts, button pressing and intermidable queues, I was subjected to him, in his own home and naked from the waist down. The phone line was fixed yesterday, but the image of nature boy in a t-shirt-and very little else-will be burned on my retinas forever.

The modem arrived today and with it, an installation disk and with that, the news that Premier ISP does not support Macintosh.

You have got to be kidding me. Four weeks and no one bothered to mention this?

I called them and they offered to refund everything and put it all back the way it was and bla bla bla, because this order should NEVER have got past the first phone call and the techie was so very, very sorry for the mistake and I was this close *pinching fingers together* to chucking it all in, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for a man begging for my forgiveness I figured let's give this plug and play shiznit a chance to prove itself, and screw the lack of tech support I'm gonna get as a mac user. Load her up, baby. I may live to regret it though, as 'blistering speeds' my butt. This connection is as slow as shit.

So anyway, I'm set up. I'm also eagerly awaiting the day technology will allow a thwack upside of the head to be e-mailed to the nimrods in sales who neglected to mention something as crucial as a friggin' operating system requirement. (punctuate as you see fit)

Or cat poop. I live for the day I can attach my cat's finest to an e-mail and wave it bah bye as I hit the send button.