Wednesday, April 12, 2006

bite me

I've had a fucking toothache since last Friday..although the story actually commenced last November when I got a tooth crowned and the crown sucked in a really major way. I reported said suckiness to my dentist and he said that if the tooth didn't settle down in time, I may need a root canal as the nerve is irriatated bla bla bla. Now, if I'd bought a pair of jeans and one leg was too short, I wouldn't be expected to get used to it as time went by, nor would an offer of taking the jeans in at the waist to compensate for the short leg be an acceptable solution. I'd expect the dodgy jeans be exchanged for a new pair, so suggesting a root canal when my tooth began hurting only after it was crowned makes as much sense to me as needless alterations on a wonky legged pair of jeans does. I don't want a root canal, I want my figurative new pair of jeans. I explained this to my dentist, and I either confused the crap out of him or he's been inhaling his own nitrous oxide because homeboy agreed with my questionable logic and decided to replace my sucky crown with one that doesn't. Suck, that is. Additionally, as my insurance will only pay for one crown per year, this is the year and I'm getting another tooth crowned, so the bejeezus has been cut out of the broken tooth next door to the tooth which has had the sucky crown removed, in preparation for its new crown, and both teeth have been graced with a temporary crown that, like its predecessor, sucks mightily. Hmm. Seems I've flogged this story to death, when all I intended to report was that I have a toothache so don't mess with me because if you do, I'd either kick you in the nuts or cry because my face hurts, waah, and as I don't like crying in public, your nuts are shit out of luck when it comes to having a nice day. Capiche? and that I'm seeing the dentist again today to see if he can make this temporary crown not hurt like a motherfucker.

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